The results of the Echo cardiogram look perfect…

The latest twist in the journey was one of awe, no one could explain why given the severity of Maxs apnea and the length of time he was dealing with it, coupled with 3 years of high blood pressure Maxs heart should have shown if not major damage at least some level of impact.  The looks of disbelief spread across face after face as people heard the news.  I am convinced that within the confines of Maxs 25 pound frame exist the spirit and heart of a giant killer.  I am humbled once again that I am able to rejoice in a situation where modern medicine struggles to find answers.

Within the joy and elation of an answer to the myriad of prayers that had been prayed for Maddox I find myself thrust back into the darkness of the unknown.  I realize that this admission of my personal struggle may ruffle some feathers and that the rawness of my struggle might be found as slightly odd, but there seems to be a flip side to every coin.

As the father of a child with a terminal illness and ambiguous diagnosis I find it is not the diagnosis that I fear but the absence of answers that bring about the most unrest.  After almost 2 weeks of walking through a variable hell making peace with the expiration date that had been placed on my son’s life I had arrived at an amazing place of peace.  Peace wrapped in humility and joy in all that Maddox is, but the jolt of the positive news has been equally difficult to make sense of.

In great awe

Scott