Another random nondescript Tuesday came to a close, and with it a strange feeling to the evening unfolded. On the eve of another surgery, another trip onto the tiled proving grounds of life. For the first time I was able to reflect before the event. Before the operation, the hospital stay, before the waivers and meetings with anesthesiologists and surgical nurses, before the waiting rooms and stale air.

I can’t avoid the interesting timing and the subsequent reflection. Less then a week from Maxs birthday, 4 years ago Brandy was in the hospital and we were still waiting for Max to arrive. All we knew is that we had a baby boy that had a future waiting to be unfolded.
Its been quite a run, Who knew right? None of this could have been anticipated or foreseen. Really even if it could have been it wouldn’t have changed anything. I know for sure I wouldn’t have believed that I had the strength to handle it. That’s the thing about life shaping circumstances, we never start out with the strength or character that we do at the end.

As I sat in the same cream colored pre-op room with the same deceivingly uncomfortable brown chairs I’ve sat in a dozen or more times. I watched them roll the bed out with Max neatly in the middle headed for surgery. It’s a scene not uncommon in our lives but even after so much it still leaves an empty feeling inside.