Scott what do you think about it?

Recently I found my Facebook page overtaken by post and reposts about a family that has a child with autism and the horrific experience they had at a local salon/spa. The recounting of the story has invoked an entire spectrum of emotion. The most recent number I had heard was that the story had been shared over 26,000 times and pages have been started to boycott the business.

As someone squarely in the middle of the world of having a child with special needs some folks have inquired about where I land on the situation? I will say as I read about the events as they unfolded I was both broken hearted and angry. I know how painful it is to find yourself in the midst of a world that few really understand and that some could care less about understanding.

I don’t know the owner of the salon nor do I know the family that was impacted, and in no way want to minimize what happened. However the situation is one that is much common then it seems the general public seems to realize. The only difference is that no one was there to write about it, the families at time feeling too embarrassed to even recount the story and just want to forget that it happened. The thing I believe that has sparked such outrage is the very public arena this all took place in. I know thousands of people that I’m sure have both made scathing comments about the owner and taken the moral stand that they would never do something so outrageous. Yet to a family it’s not always the grand public situations that cut the deepest. Often time it’s the sideways glances, the stares. It’s the eye rolls and huffs. It’s the look of frustration on the faces of passengers sitting on a bus, a tram or some other mode of transportation as a wheel chair is being loaded. Having to ask someone to please move in order to navigate a wheel chair in a crowded restaurant and the over exaggerated motions that follow. Know this the heartbreak for a parent isn’t just in the big things. I don’t need to have someone yell at me to be disgusted by society. At the same time I don’t intend to vilify anyone, so much of this is because of a significant lack of education and a lack of compassion. On any given day many people will use the term ‘retard’ or ‘retarded’ as a normal part of their vocabulary. The belief that it’s such a common phrase that no one would be offended or hurt by it anymore. The mindset seemingly being ‘Why should I have to change the way I talk so I don’t hurt someone’s feelings… I wasn’t talking about anyone specifically.’ Its commonplace in comedic routines for someone to play the role of societies stereotype of a person with mental disabilities, we laugh at these are actors and comedians… because well they aren’t real people.

The story circulating broke my heart, but it didn’t surprise me. The outrage is well intentioned, but I wonder if it ever moves beyond this point of intense attack on one spa owner. Will any of the 26,000 people who have shared be more compassionate next time they are in a store or a restaurant? In a month or two with the situation has cooled, and the posts are no longer spreading like wildfire will anyone still be concerned about the rights and the treatment of the families in the special needs community. The family impacted will never be able to forget this incident, my concern is that most everyone that has spread the story and signed up for the boycott will.

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